If you ever want to stir up some controversy at a dinner party, throw out the question “Are you successful?” during a break in conversation. You will get a variety of responses. You will see that there’s a lot to say on the subject. Ask people in a group if they are successful, and you could be lucky enough to get impassioned stories about overcoming obstacles, about victories over addiction, about impressive financial gains, and so on. Others will insist that they are not successful based on the fact that they haven’t accomplished all that they want yet. Still others will try to avoid the question by claiming “it depends on what you mean by success.” Knowing the secret to being successful will not only give you an advantage at dinner parties, it will give you exactly what you need for a fulfilling life.

The question “Am I successful?” is a compelling one. You may have an instant answer that is true for you. If you’re asking yourself the question right now, then I invite you to write down what you’re thinking. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the top of the left column, write “I’m successful because…”, and on the right, put “I’m not successful because…” Now list every consideration that comes to mind and write them in the appropriate column. List all the relevant reasons, all your accomplishments, all your experiences, and all your wins and losses. (Sometimes the same reason can be in both places.) Keep going until you feel you’ve exhausted all the reasons and considerations that apply to your being successful or not being successful.

When you’re finished writing down everything you can think of, ask yourself the question “Am I successful?” one more time. Notice how much difference writing out your thoughts has made. Are you feeling the same as you did before you began writing? Has your opinion shifted or stayed the same? Perhaps you’re more confused than when you started. Maybe you’re now certain about your answer. Did you learn anything about yourself? It may surprise you, but I’m betting that you are no better off and no closer to the answer than before you started writing.

Being successful is not what most people think. Being successful is not based on reasons or considerations. Whether you are successful or not has nothing to do with the lists you just created. You might ask, “How can this be when it sure looks like my being successful is based my accomplishments (or lack of accomplishments), my experiences, and what I’ve gained or lost over the years?" If you look back at your lists, you will notice that everything you wrote has one thing in common: they are all in the past. Everything you accomplished, you accomplished in the past. Everything you gained or lost and every experience you’ve ever had are in the past. Being successful, on the other hand, can only be in the present.

Are you starting to get the secret about being successful? If every one of your reasons and considerations are in the past and being successful is in the present, then what makes you successful or not? The secret to being successful is simple indeed. You are successful if you say you are, and you are not successful if you say you are not. That’s it! There’s nothing more. Your being successful comes from the power of your declaration. The reasons and considerations that have seemed relevant until now are only descriptions of the past. They have no sway over who you are in this moment.

When you know the secret to being successful, the question becomes “Are you willing to be successful right now?” If so, then all there is for you is to declare it! So, let’s hear it. Say it out loud right now: “I’m successful.” If it helps, you can say, “I’m successful because I say I’m successful and for no other reason.” Whenever and wherever you find yourself, you can now declare you’re successful, and it is true because you say so. Once you’re being successful, then you will do what successful people do, and you will have what successful people have. Congratulations! You’re on your way!