Maybe it's the holidays or maybe it's the short days and long nights. Recently, I've noticed a significant surge in conversations about finding love and romance. More and more singles are openly talking about finding partnership and the challenges they face. "Love" is by far the word more people search for on Google when looking for coaching to improve their lives.

The same singles who now face their loneliness and longing for romantic connection are also confronted with confusion and doubt when trying to "find someone". Although it's not easy to say that you're lost and don't know what to do to find love, it's also very powerful. If you can admit that you don't know the first thing about matters of love and romance, you're on your way to a breakthrough.

The problem as I see it today is that most people have unknowingly accepted idealized images and stories of love and romance. Popular Hollywood romantic comedies (our modern fairy tales) suggest to us how to behave and what to expect. Unfortunately, there's no one writing the script for your "happily ever after". You have to write it yourself.

Some romance seekers are now beginning to take responsibility for what has eluded them. They are looking honestly at themselves, sometimes for the first time, and discovering what has been stopping them.

In many coaching conversations, I have helped people identify the behaviors and beliefs that no longer serve them. Foremost among them is the "serial monogamist". These are people who date one person at a time while putting all their romantic energy into one relationship-to-end-all-relationships. The hidden assumption here is that there is a scarcity of desirable partners, and so if you find someone you connect with, you better put everything you've got into it. But then this same intensity of energy and effort (often appearing as "clinginess" or "neediness") brings the relationship to its predictable end. After a period of grieving, the cycle starts again.

This is only one example of how crazy we can be when it comes to love and romance. What about people who tell anyone who will listen how much they hate commitment? What about those who treat others primarily as sexual objects and then complain "no one wants to take the time to get to know me"?

In the end, most of us don't really know what we want. If it's not the images we see on the Big Screen and if it's not what you've had in the past, then what else is there? If you're willing to explore your limiting beliefs and unhelpful behaviors, you can begin an inquiry into what will truly bring you satisfaction in love and romance. This would be the beginning of a whole new way of looking at yourself and potential romantic parnters.

Luckily, I have developed the Abundant Dating program for singles who want to break through the limitations of the past. The program addresses the question of what makes you most happy, and it is designed to reveal exactly what's been stopping you until now. If you're willing to give up what you relied on in the past, and if you're willing to experiment with new ways of dating, you will experience an abundance of intimacy and connection like never before.